Leaving the Adult Industry
I started writing this post thinking how I was going to tell my whole story from how I started into the industry, and leading to the now, where all I’ve been able to think about is how much I’ve wanted out. In the end, though, it doesn’t really matter. That’s a story for another day, perhaps. The important thing here is that I’ve finally made the concrete decision that I need to get away from this industry for good. I just can’t do it anymore.
In 2017 I started as a stripper and then over time I went to online fetish porn. I’ve met as many amazing people as I have crappy people. Both fellow sex workers and customers. I’m thankful for the experiences I’ve had, and the knowledge and perspectives I’ve gained from being in this industry, but I also can’t keep ignoring the heavy depression this job has caused me to the point of being suicidal, and the immense strain it’s had on my marriage and the relationship I have with my family.
I’m still unsure of how to cut ties completely since I have so many videos and I built my own website and the ridiculous amounts of clip stores I acquired over the years. Googling “How to leave the porn industry” wasn’t helpful at all and mostly brought up articles about popular ex-porn stars talking about how their lives have been completely ruined (really discouraging to be honest). I don’t have any kind of handbook on what steps to take. I was just an average person at an extremely low point in life with zero business background jumping into something I was gravely ill prepared for. Now, being 3 years older with goals and aspirations, I’m trying to figure out how I pick up these shattered pieces and hoping with all my heart I can move on in life without my bad decisions biting my ass in the future and destroying everything I’m working hard for.
For now, I’m going to keep things up to help limp me along financially until I can get a job with a stable income, because I’m also still working on my college degree. I would like to clear out my panty inventory since I purchased those specifically for selling, and not personal use. Click here if you’d like to help me do that. I will be shutting down all custom order forms and will not fulfill anymore video or audio orders. Please do not send me money without talking to me first and expect me to complete an order. Eventually I’ll work on taking all my stores down.
I want to say thank you to all the friends I’ve made and the great customers I’ve worked with. I look back on the past 3 years with both regret and a degree of fondness. It’s bittersweet, but I’m fine with it being the past and hopefully it forever stays that way.
