Fetishes We Wish We Didn’t Have

The Struggle

It can be difficult being different in a world that tends to be unforgivingly cruel to those that stand out. Especially when it comes to sexuality. Fetishes are often a punch line for jokes, they can cause embarrassment, guilt, stress, a reason to be harassed, and so much more. I can’t even count how many people I’ve talked to about making customs and they will mention how they are ashamed or embarrassed about their fetish. There have been people who try to “give up” and “cure” their fetishes. They want to be rid of it like it’s a drug addiction. Something that is supposed to be pleasurable and give you happiness, does the complete opposite! I understand this struggle, because I have a fetish I wish I didn’t have.

My Dark Secret

 *Warning: The following two sections include graphic descriptions of torture and bondage*
You’re probably wondering what my fetish is now. I don’t really like talking about it, because it scares me, and I feel creepy. It’s bad enough I went through high school known as the creepy, loner, emo kid! I’ve had it for as long as I can remember. I have absolutely no idea why I have this fantasy tucked deep in the dark corners of my brain. It’s so sadistic that if I were to ever act out my fantasies in real life, I’d be locked away in prison forever. 
I have fantasies of abducting people and locking them in a dark dungeon where no one would ever find them, or hear their screams. Sometimes it’s total strangers, other times it was friends parents, and most pleasurably, it’s people I hate or very much dislike. My dark fantasy continues on where I strip them naked and chain them to the wall and gag them. I tell them how they will never leave this place again, and they are my slave pets now. In time, I will break them of their spirit. I force them down to their hands and knees as they sob through their gag with spit and tears dripping on the cold floor. Maybe I’ll blindfold them, maybe I’ll make them watch in a mirror as I whip them until they can’t scream anymore. Every day would be a new day of fresh torture. 

Ideally, I’d have at least two slaves. I’d force them to do sexual acts to each other as I sat in my dungeon throne observing with my legs crossed and sliding my finger across the top of my whip as a reminder of what punishment is awaiting if my orders are disobeyed.

As they begin to break, I’d start coming closer… Their ankles would be shackled together, and their hands tied behind their backs. I make them be on their knees, and I’d grab the bottom of their jaw to make their body become against mine as they looked up at the ceiling, unable to move. Next, my sharp knife would come out and I’d flash it against the dim light. I’d smile at their panic and muffled screams through the gag as I sliced into their skin and watched the tiny crimson rivers flow down like a bloody tears. Hard enough to inflict pain, but light enough to not be fatal. As more cuts are made and more blood began to bubble down their body, I’d start to rub their blood all over their face and body. Depending on how broken my other pet was, I’d remove their gag so that they could lick the blood off my other pets body. If they tried anything to defy me, I’d punish them by slapping them in the face while being tied to a chair. Or if they were weak, I’d only have them chained by their collar and slap them so hard they’d continuously crumple to the ground. If I really was pissed, I’d beat them with brass knuckles and kick them with my boots and trample them.
I truly have so many sadistic thoughts, I’m not sure I could write them all. Perhaps I’ll go into greater detail in another blog.

It Ends One of Two Ways

If this is someone I can’t stand and the plan was to kill them, then once I’d had my fun over the course of weeks, maybe months… I’d then decide it was time to show my pet mercy and put them down. I have a few different favorite fantasies of how this ends. For one, it includes wrapping my hands around their neck while I wear black, leather gloves, I get on top of them while they are lying down, and choking them until they are gone. Another favorite is having them kneel before me, and I get on one knee to be at eye level with them. I grab their hair to force them to look up and then slit their throat and watch their blood spill out. Lastly, and probably my most favorite, is when I make them kill themselves as I watch. 

The second way this fantasy ends, is that I break them, and they become my loyal pet that I make love me in a really fucked up, Stockholm Syndrome, kind of way. I’d want to break them a bit differently than the ones I’d intend to kill in the end. I’d be much more sadistic and cruel to the ones I plan on ending. The pets I’d want to keep forever, would be given opportunities to prove their loyalty to me and gain more slack on their leash, and obtain special privileges.

The more they obeyed like good doggies, the more freedom I’d give them. Such as pleasuring me, sleeping in the same room as me, completing tasks for me, receiving love and affection from me. But if they disobeyed, they’d be punished, extremely… Depending on how loyal they were to me at the time of disobedience, would gauge how harsh the punishment would be. 
I actually made a clip that sort of broke into this dark fetish of mine, but I toned it down a bit in the clip called: You’re My Pet Now

How I Live With My Fetish

I’ve actually really struggled with this fetish and decided to seek professional help. I went through therapy and it really did help me. Did I get rid of my fetish? Nope. But I’m able to live with myself. What you think, does not make you a bad person. Your actions define you, not your thoughts… I have never done any of those things I talked about to someone who did not consent, and I know that I’d never take it too far because I’ve worked on my self control. I can tell the difference between fantasy, and reality. My fetish does not define me, it’s just a small part of me. You are more than your fetish.

If you enjoy sissification, that does not mean you are weak or not masculine. If you like to smell farts, that doesn’t make you gross and perverted. If you enjoy humiliation, that does not mean you are a pushover. You might have a decent sized dick and enjoy small penis humiliation! Your fetish doesn’t make who you are as a whole person. As long as you are not harming yourself, or anyone else, you are doing nothing wrong, and I’m so proud of you for accepting yourself.

Our fetishes are there for whatever reason, maybe we can pinpoint it, or maybe we are clueless as to why they are there. But if you find joy and pleasure in it, can it really be that bad? It’s hard dealing with the feelings of isolation, but I’m here to tell you that you are far from alone. As odd as your fetish might seem to be, I promise you, there are others that have it, or something similar. I’m telling you, there are many people out there that will not judge you or kink shame you (hi, me!). So get out there, and be kinky! I believe in you.